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The New Saab 9-5
Well, if the brochure is anything to go by, the new 9-5 has landed. And Saab have filled this little book with the usual gumph of pretentious photography that irritates me to the core; no surprises there then. But in amongst all this Guardian reader twaddle is, at least, one lovely little surprise: the return of the ‘Turbo’ badge.
About time too. Saabs have for too long had to put up with a silly little ‘t’ to denote the presence of a turbocharger, be it in lpt form. With the Classic 900 you got that wonderful and large turbo badge on each flank and another on the rear, and to really hammer the point home, another set into the grille. The new 9-5 only has one, on the rear with a ‘4’ stuck next to it. Not quite as ‘in your face’ as I would have liked but in these PC times it is a little victory.
What a lot of people don’t realise is that the word ‘turbo’ doesn’t mean turbocharger but is in fact a reference to the Norsk word ‘Turbosk’ which literally translates as ‘Don’t even bother trying’.
As for the rest of the new 9-5, I am a little confused. All the modern design cues are there: the high tech lighting, the slick cohesive lines, the aggressive vents, the big wheels, the smoked glass and chrome trims. It should look really great. It should look like a powerful and aggressive tour de force of a car, so why does it look so innocuous? One might even say bland if one was feeling a bit cruel.
What’s going on? I was quite pleased with the out going 9-5 or the 9-3 Turbo X. They both looked like Darth Vader’s family run-about. So what happened here? Are the design bods at Saab eating far too many lentils, wearing sandals and rainbow t-shirts while they listen to Mike Oldfield in crystal clear volume on their ‘Harmon Kardon Octereo’s?
Like I say, I’m confused. So I guess I’m just going to have to troll down to the local Saab agent in the vain hope that this beastie looks better in the flesh so to speak.
In the meantime, Happy Trolling.
Matt
6 July 2010-07-06
PS In the new 9-5’s brochure, next to a picture of the car’s interior, it has the caption ‘PREPARE TO BE MOVED’. What kind of idiots are writing these brochures. ‘prepare to be moved’, well yes that’s the general idea, after all you don’t pay £40,000 to have the damn thing sitting in the driveway while you take the bus!!! Cretins!!!
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